Discombobulated: a word study

confusionDiscombobulated is a word I use when I’m out of sorts and don’t know why. When I am in

a state of frustration,

a stew of perplexity,

a stymie of confusion,

I feel discombobulated.

This tongue tripper, a 19th century Americanism, was coined in the days before Words with Friends, when people amused themselves with the dictionary instead of an iPhone app. They coined cleverisms by altering simpler words, in this case, discompose or discomfort.

Some trivia: Discombobulate has six syllables that contain all five vowels. Although it is considered a humorous word, it’s not all that fun a feeling.

Break the word apart, DIS – COM – BOB – U – LATE, snap it into pieces as if it were a stale saltine and you get a sense for how it feels.

  • Disa negative force; slang for a put down. I tend to be self-critical when I’m feeling discombobulated.
  • Comwith, together, in association; I can associate my feelings with a number of convergent events.
  • Bobquick, short up-and-down movements; I bob around in my head from one disgruntlement to another.
  • U – Self, I’m talking to YOU! Something is going on. People or events may trigger the feeling, but they don’t cause it.
  • Latehappening after the usual, expected or desired time; The feeling builds. Relief is late in coming. I will continue to feel discombobulated until something snaps me out of it.

I pondered all this during a Sunday sermon about the withered fig tree. (Mark 11:12-25). Christ came upon a leafy fig tree with no fruit. It was out of season. He was hungry. He cursed the tree and it withered away. There are a number of theological explanations for Christ’s apparent testiness, but in my discombobulated state I saw a clear personal application.

A fig tree lush with leaves stands before me. Oh the possibilities! I am so hungry for the fruit I don’t consider whether this is fig season. I just keep sticking my hand into that tree, feeling around for the fruit. The more often I come up empty handed, the more discombobulated I feel. Where’s the fruit?

Whatever it is that you are searching for, are you so distracted by the leafy display that you’ve forgotten to consider the timing? What distractions are you dealing with that need to wither and die? What vistas might open up if you looked elsewhere to satisfy your longing?

Self, I’m talking to you.

Find the Joy

© Andrew Kazmierski | Dreamstime Stock Photos

© Andrew Kazmierski | Dreamstime Stock Photos


Some days you have to look hard to find the joy. The El Portal fire is blowing smoke our way from the community of Foresta that houses Yosemite Park employees. An eye-stinging reminder of what we suffered in the Rim fire last year, we say prayers for our neighboring communities.

Ash seasons our already muggy air as if some heavy handed chef dumped too much slurry in the soup, and I begin to lose my taste for this day.


Joy is an emotion, a feeling of great delight or happiness triggered by some exceptionally good or satisfying event. I felt it yesterday when I saw two postings on Facebook: a video of my granddaughter playing my mother’s piano and belting out a song, and a photo of my son’s Telly award for his contribution to a music video.

Strangely, I think I take more joy in the accomplishments of my family and friends than I do my own. The joys of reaching a publishing milestone are surprisingly short-lived, whereas I bask longer in the glory of my children’s joy. Could it be that sustained joy requires connection?

 Yesterday I ran up and down stairs with a big grin on my face thinking about several moments of joy others had shared with me that day. The intensity of their feelings of delight resonated along a delicate web of connections that reached my heart.

I sometimes let my joy get beaten down by the environment. It only takes a few minutes on Facebook scrolling through posts that scream in my face for me to lose my joy.

Look at THIS! You won’t believe what happens next!

Seriously cute ALERT! Seriously, you have to see this!

A trip to Macy*s Department Store can do it. All those sad clothes in bad colors, reeking of chemicals, clinging to each other on carousal racks, marked down from $75 to $5.99.

What to do when joy takes a coffee break and decides to bag it for the rest of the day?


There is a trick that writers use when they need to infuse new energy into a scene. Change the focus. Lift a character’s eyes to a new horizon, or fix their attention on something close, closer, even closer.

I can’t see the horizon today for the smoke, but I can train my mind’s eye on the shore of Bainbridge Island, where I will arrive tomorrow for a ten-day visit with my daughter dedicated to restoring health giving joy.

I focus my eyes on a silent cluster of oak leaves on the still branch just outside my office window. The branch begins to dance, and a tiny seed whirls out of the foliage and helicopters past my view. Whee!


True joy can’t be manufactured, it has to be discovered, noticed, appreciated, and perhaps shared. How do you restore joy?

Tending our forest

This year, our scraggly apricot tree bore fruit for the first time in 15 years

This year, our scraggly apricot tree bore fruit for the first time in 15 years

We forest dwellers have a dilemma tending our forest.  The Rim Fire taught us that proper forest management can save our property and our lives. We may disagree about how to manage the forest, but most of us are diligently whacking our weeds and limbing our trees.

The forest is stressed from drought. Trees are conserving what resources they have at their roots, letting their leaves turn brown. Despite the assault of fire and no water on the forest, the wildlife seems to be thriving. The humming birds and finches are back, and my scraggly apricot tree that hasn’t born fruit in fifteen years is full of apricots this year!

Jays are in a pecking fury; deer rip the bounty off branches and chomp noisily; red fox, a family of five, bounce around under the tree, and  frightened Clyde has relocated to the La-Z-Boy recliner downstairs.

The fox are a bit too close for comfort. Fun to watch, I wonder why they are suddenly scampering around in the daytime and what we are going to do about the cat. Clearly Clyde feels threatened, but we hired him to keep the mouse population on our property at bay, not to be a permanent indoor guest.

We live in the forest, without fences. We work at maintaining defensible space around our house to discourage fire. Cute as they are, we are going to have to figure out a way to discourage the fox before they make a meal of our mouser.

The Lyre and the Lambs cover reveal

LyreLambsFront_smallToday is the day; the Lyre and the Lambs cover reveal!

 Approving a book cover is a highly emotional event for an author. So much is involved; images, fonts, colors. When all is said and done, the cover has to appeal to an audience of varied ages, tastes, and experiences. It has to engage book browsers’ curiosity long enough so they will take the next step; pick up the book and flip it over or click to read the blurb. 

Since much of the drama in The Lyre and The Lambs centers on the young people  I think this cover fits, and I love the colors and the stylish font.

The sequel to The Sheep Walker s Daughter, this book explores the passions that draw people together and the faith it takes to overcome trauma.

 A mother and a daughter, both newlyweds, decide to set up housekeeping together. Dee and Valerie move with their husbands into a modern glass house Valerie built in a proudly rural Los Altos, California neighborhood. When their relatives start showing up and moving in, the neighbors get suspicious. Then a body is found in the backyard and the life they are trying to build comes undone.

Father Mike is back to guide Dee through a difficult time with humor and grace, even as his own life is unraveling. Now he’s going to have to take some of his own advice about love. 

The Lyre and the Lambs will be released on September 3, 2014. What happens before and shortly after release day largely determines how many people will be exposed to the title and have the opportunity to choose whether to read it or not. Pre-orders and early reviews are a big determinant. 

  1. Pre-order The Lyre and the Lambs Your copy will ship on September 3, 2014.
  2. Mark as a To Read on Goodreads


A soothing refreshment

When your nerves are frazzled and your mood is dark, where do you turn for soothing and refreshment?


A meditative walk in woods?

A meditative walk in woods?


A steaming cup of fragrant tea?

A steaming cup of fragrant tea?


A meaningful selection from The Good Book?

A meaningful selection from The Good Book?


A hearty laugh with a good friend?

A hearty laugh with a good friend?


When King Saul was troubled, he would ask David to play his lyre. The lyre is an ancient stringed instrument found in many cultures. You might think of it as a portable harp.

Peter Pringle  replicated a Meddigo lyre similar to the one David would have played. Take a listen.

About-face and Focus

When life sucks the joy out of you, it may be time to do an about-face, a turn heel, out with the old, in with the new complete change. Such is the call from evangelical pastor Rick Warren and fundamentalist turned Anglican turned Catholic priest Dwight Longenecker. As disparate as their paths seem to be, I highly recommend reading both their books at the same time. 

The Romance of Religion: Fighting for Goodness, Truth, and BeautyThe Romance of Religion, Fighting for Goodness, Truth, and Beauty maintains that “to really see something, you have to see something more.” The cynic, Longenecker says, is the man with a short focal point who sees only glass when he looks at a window. As a writer of literary fiction, I often stand on the other side of the window waving my arms and pleading with the cynic to look through the glass and consider the landscape, its goodness, truth, and beauty. This book thrills my soul.

The author gives the best definition of faith I have ever read (see page 188). He challenges those who tend to see faith as a warranty (agree to the terms and you’ll be protected) to embrace the total transformation that true faith requires. Please don’t let the fact that the author found his spiritual home in the Catholic Church after that body invited disaffected Anglican priests who were married with children to minister in the Catholic Church stop you from reading his passionate call to a faith worth living and dying for.

The Daniel PlanThe Daniel Plan, 40 Days to a Healthier Life, preaches what we all know. A healthy life is only achieved through commitment and balance. Call it what you will, the essentials involve some kind of faith, the right balance and portions of food, a fitness program you will actually do, friends who encourage and motivate you, and the proper focus.

The chapter on focus is especially powerful. Before you can change your health you have to engage your brain. As he did in The Purpose Driven Life, Warren excels in common sense exposition that cuts through a lot of  noise around healthy living that sends us straight to the frig for the ice cream.

Next I’m reaching for lighter fare some of my friends have given me, The Novel, by James Michener, a somewhat dated but probably still true fictional treatment of the publishing industry, and The Living Room, by Robert Whitlow, about – a novelist.  I wonder if this is a healthy focus?

What’s on your summer reading list?

Nature, God’s Primary Text

Tuolumne River in Yosemite

Tuolumne River in Yosemite

Before we had the written word we had nature, God’s primary text. We learned about God from the seasons of the year, the stars in the sky, the action of the ocean, and the soil of the earth  I pondered this as I lay on a rock beside the Tuolumne River and gazed up through a pine tree at the clouds.

As adults, we understand the physical nature of clouds, but as children, we delighted in spotting familiar shapes in cloud formations.

“Can you see that rabbit chasing a dragon,” we would ask a playmate.

“No, where? I don’t see it.”  As we tried to explain, it dissipated.

A rabbit chasing a dragon. Hmm, what does that mean?  The thought might lead to a journal entry. “Am I the rabbit or the dragon? What am I chasing or fleeing?”

Most of believe that clouds are simply a vaporous phenomenon, but could they also be a medium God dips his brush into to paint a picture for us to contemplate?

What message do you see in this cloud?

What message do you see in this cloud?

I’m reading The Romance of Religion, Fighting for Goodness, Truth, and Beauty by Dwight Longenecker, a lovely treatise on the unseen world that runs parallel to ours. The author maintains that great stories enchant the hero with whispers that ordinary life contains portals into the unseen.

Perhaps Yosemite National Park is so beloved because it contains so many portals that transport us. I hiked Pothole  Dome yesterday to get the kinks out. My body was kinked from maintaining an unnatural posture in front of my computer day after day. My brain was kinked from an ongoing discussion of what is off limits as subject matter and expression for authors who are Christians and the consequences for those of us who see that boundary differently than the gatekeepers.

Taking a day to walk through a portal and  work out the kinks has brought me peace.



Before we had the written word we had nature, God’s primary text.

Perhaps Yosemite National Park is so beloved because it contains so many portals that transport us.





Eyes on the Prize


Authors these days are Charlies in the chocolate factory trying to pass a test of resolve to win the prize. The test is how hard we are willing to work to build our writing business. The prize is real estate in desirable neighborhoods bordering authors with stratospheric book sales stats. Resolve is the trump card. Good marketing can sell most any product but a strong product without good marketing hasn’t got much of a prayer—nothing new here, but it’s a painful situation for those of us who are drawn more to the art and less to the commerce involved.

In our twittery, in your face, instaworld, not-so-new ideas are repackaged daily and pushed to us with dizzying speed. All the elements of business success are available for a mere click:

  • 12 steps to becoming a bestselling author
  • 18 must have spreadsheets that put you in control of your writing career
  • 1001 ways to market your books

But, what if you prize writing less modified for general consumption and more like heirloom seeds cultivated in an organic garden?

Organic Writing

farmersmarketHeirloom seeds are passed down through generations to preserve wide varieties of produce that feature different flavors and unusual colors.  Some literary traditions are like that. Richard Thomas said works of literary merit should stand the test of time, have realistic and layered characters and complex emotions, and be concerned with the truth.

In an organic garden, weeds you don’t want are allowed to grow alongside healthy plants.  Careful tending produces food that hearkens back to the days we picked fruit off trees, popped it into our mouths, and let the juices run down our chins. To produce a strong work of literary merit is a slow, labor intensive process as well. You have to get down into the weeds in your soul to produce memorable characters that stand the test of time. Complex emotions, like flavorful fruit, must be allowed to ripen on the tree, not a market-driven timetable. As for truth, digging in soil to separate roots that intertwine is slow work.

It strikes me that God is like an organic gardener. In the parable about the weeds growing among the wheat (Matthew 13: 24-30) the weeds are allowed to grow because their removal might disturb the healthy roots of God’s heirloom crop. Perhaps that’s why the market is small. The price is high. To control the cost, we prefer to deal with the weeds using our own methods, but the results are often tasteless.

You can’t shortchange the organic process. It is slow. It is dependent on environmental factors beyond our control. There are crop failures. But when I see our organic farmers feeding our local community healthy, nourishing food I am encouraged to go and do likewise in my writing.

A friend sent me an email today. She wrote:

The last read in my time with our Lord was out of your companion book on page 44. Deuteronomy 4:9. I felt a new challenge in “Teach what you’ve seen and heard to your children and grandchildren.”  I’m going to look for opportunities to that with my great grandsons. Thank you for this little book.”

If my words nourish hearts, if they become seeds for posterity, that is a reward greater than any prize.

horseraceDon’t get me wrong.  I love to win prizes…for about thirty seconds it is a great feeling. But a prize is awarded in a competition. I consider my writing a journey instead of a race.  If I finish my journey well, I do hope to be rewarded with readers.  What blesses a gardener more than watching people enjoy the fruit of her labors?  I welcome the work that invites a reward, but I would rather work in the field than the factory.


Morning Read

morningreadMy morning read is one of the most inviting times of my day. I confess, I check email and Facebook first, make a Words With Friends play against my sister, and record a sentence in my Five Year Diary, but then I reach for inspiration.

This year I’m following our pastor’s sermon series on Jesus in the gospels in the NLT One Year Chronological Bible. Today Jesus told his disciples, “But don’t rejoice because evil spirits obey you: rejoice because your names are registered in heaven.” (Luke 10:20). My writer brain said, “Ah, it’s not about power, it’s about position.” That’s a thought I can carry through my day. Am I  working from my position of strength or just powering through?

Next I reach for The Valley of Vision, a Puritan prayer book, a thoughtful gift from a precious friend. Those Puritans were so practical and they had a beautiful way with words. Yesterday’s prayer was for Sincerity.

May I not be inattentive to the design

of thy dealings with me,

or insensible under thy rebukes,

or immobile at thy calls.

If I could discern God’s hand in my writing journey, understand the discipline in the disappointments, and respond to the call with more energy, what joy.

To polish off this spiritual breakfast, I reach for a poem. I’m enjoying local author Joy Willow’s Soma Song.  Her poetry awakens all my senses.

Oh, look—

Crystalline morning

Platters of sunshine

Slanting and slicing through haze

Sparkling daylight knock-out engagement ring

And promise of things to come.


What’s on your bedside table?



Discoverability: What’s the buzz?

bee21-sDiscoverability is the latest buzz word in the book biz. Like African killer bees in search of new territory, social media sites are attempting to nest in writer psyches with promises that they will help readers find us. With The Sheep Walker’s Daughter approaching sales that will help validate my publisher faith in me and a second book on the way, I’m looking for ways to make readers’ fingers itch to push the Click Here to Buy button.


I tried a Goodreads giveaway this month and true to promise, it was easy and fun. Easy to set up and fun to see the stratospheric number of people who clicked to win a free book. Congratulations to Christine Hewitt in Ontario, Canada and Matthew Thompson in North Yorkshire, Great Britain. Your books are on their way.

How does this help me get discovered? It puts my book in front of voracious readers who are building their collections with the aid of free book contests. I wish they all could win, but I can’t afford the shipping costs. In theory, if a contest winner likes my book they will tell others. In this case, they will tell others in Canada and Great Britain and I will be discovered internationally! I’ll let you know how this plays out.

Guest blogs

Another way to get discovered is guest spots on other people’s blogs. You meet the nicest people that way, and they introduce you to their friends. I am very impressed with the preparation Fay Lamb of Florida did for the three feature spots she offered me on her blog. She read my book and then tailored questions for an interview with my main character, Dee. Now keep in mind, Dee is not the most forthcoming person you will ever meet. Fay drew her out and Dee surprised me with her candor. Read Dee’s first media interview here.

Coming up next:

Wednesday, May 28, Author Interview: I dish on the challenge Christian writers face in making choices between being real and risking offense.

Friday, May 30, Guest Post:  Faith Lessons from Father Mike. Where do you start if you don’t know God? The new TV drama Black Box aired a thought provoking segment in which science types were trotting out tired arguments against the existence of God (can’t prove what you can’t observe) and the bi-polar heroine said in effect, “Well that’s the thing about faith; it’s believing something you can’t see.” That is the point at which Father Mike begins with Dee. Make an assumption. In science that is called a hypothesis, right?

Going for it

Visit me today, Wednesday and Friday on Fay’s blog. Leave a comment on one of those days and we will send one random person a free copy of The Sheep Walker’s Daughter. Your comment doesn’t have to be clever. Just make sure we have a way to get in touch with you.


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